The Magic Change Purse

"It is essential... that discipline should not be practiced like a rule imposed on oneself from the outside, but that it becomes an expression of one's own will; that it is felt as pleasant, and that one slowly accustoms oneself to a kind of behavior which one would eventually miss, if one stopped practicing it."
~~ Eric Fromm

I have this little, woven change purse that I carry around. Didn't cost much, don't think about it much. Just a vehicle for carrying around change. No big thing.

The other day, I brought it out to put out money for a tip and someone said, "ah, the magic change purse. No matter how little money there is, that little change purse always seems to have just a little bit more."

Its all a matter of perception, I suppose. There's me who knows just how finite the funds are and then there's everyone else -- who only sees that little bit extra I manage to coax out when its needed. And who am I to contradict their perception? Especially since that perception brings with it a feeling of financial security. Not a bad thing at all, I think.

And what does this have to do with the quote?

Well, I've been thinking about creative recovery and how to move myself in the direction I need to go but more about that later. Discipline as an expression of my will is one of the concepts that goes along with that.

GULP -- I've been Tagged

Freebird tagged me a few days ago. Its a kind of challenge that gets passed from blog to blog -- the idea being to tell you six random things about myself. So, here goes.

1. The picture I did, Seated Female, has been compared to the work of Aubrey Beardsley. I (sheepishly) admit that I didn't know the artist and actually had to look him up online, in Wikipedia.  To save you the trouble, I've added a link to his work here.

2. Its only been recently that I've found the courage to actually speak to other artists -- being self taught, I've always felt as though I'm not good enough, unworthy somehow. Took me quite awhile to realize that this was my mother's influence in the background -- the voice in my head that's always said, 'yeah, but can you make money at it?' As though doing something I love wasn't reason enough.

3. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. More than a bit my family tells me. My 14 year old daughter, "She Who Must Not be Thwarted",  takes great glee in taking and saving my mistakes so she can bring them out later and laugh at them. I look on it as learning humility. :-)

4. My teenagers actually prefer playing board games with my husband and me to watching television or playing on computers. This is new. I don't expect to last. Its awesome and fun -- and irritating all at the same time. Because all of that takes time that I need for other things as well, like art. Life is a balancing act. I remind myself that I love my children and childhood is not a permanent condition. That helps in the decision-making process.

5. There are absolutely no possibilities for art courses in my geographic area -- I have searched. So, I found a correspondence course which I investigated. I thought it would be laughed at, again taking a lot of courage to ask, and found out that its actually well respected and a good grounding. So, I'm doing it. Just sent the first lesson in for review. I'm hoping this will help me move over into painting. I'm very interested in portraits especially.

6. I have white hair -- started turning when I was in my 20's. Its genetic and what they call glass white -- which means it doesn't accept die all that easily. At team meetings, which we do by video conference, my hair is the brightest thing in the room -- how embarrassing is that! 

Now the rules:

1. Link to the person or persons who tagged you. (done)
2. Post the rules on your blog. (done)
3. Write six random things about yourself. (done)
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. (really not sure I have the courage to do that!)
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog. (see #4)
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. (done)

EDM Challenge #2: Draw a Lamp

In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present. (Sir Francis Bacon)

He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star. (William Blake)

This the light that hangs on the bedroom wall next to my bed just above the nightstand. Took two months to get this hung on the wall mostly because there were other things that needed doing first.

Reading by the harsh glare of the overhead light, knowing that I'd have to get up and turn it out (all the way across the room), just didn't work for me. So maybe I'm a touch lazy?

What's on the nightstand at the moment? International Artist, which just arrived a day or two ago featuring one of my absolute favorite artists. Eldest (his parents are publishers). And a little brown teddy bear named Peanut that my daughter gave me as a birthday present.

Not a Drawing But Had to Share

An ivory tower is a fine place as long as the door is open.
~~Darby Bannard

Had to share this with you. Just had to --

Two firsts in our garden.

This is the cactus we call Mr. Big. Now, we've had this cactus for five years. Five years. Doesn't do anything but grow straight up. Cut it off, it makes two branches that grow straight up. Thick. Tall. Its about going on three feet tall this year. I think of it as old reliable.

Well, wonder of wonders, Mr. Big flowered this year for the first time -- at midnight! So, I rushed out in my pajamas to take pictures of Mr. Big's first ever flowers. Straight from the garden to you.


The other first is our lemon tree. We've been nursing this tree along for a year or so now.

Lemons take several months to mature -- longer if the neighborhood kids pick them off and throw them at each other when you're at work ... which is what happened to the last lemons the tree tried to grow.

Since we moved into our house (and brought the tree with us), the lemon tree is trying to grow lemons again! Here's a picture of its first effort. If all goes well, the lemon will be ready to pick in February. In Israel, the tree can put out lemons year round so hopefully, this will be the first of many.

As for art work, I made a kind of ah ha realization. I have an old set of computer speakers (with an amplifier) which I plugged into my CD player. Now I have music in my studio -- I wanted to try this without spending money before I go looking for a stereo system. Music plus my computer chair (which is incredibly ugly but also incredibly comfortable) makes the studio my favorite place to be.

Time flies away now when I'm there ... and I got two projects done for my art course (homework). Also did another EDM challenge but I need light to photograph, so I'll add that in the morning.

Trying to Hear

Stopping at third base adds no more to the score than striking out.~~ E. Joseph Cossman

My son started climbing at the age of two. Playgrounds. Walls. Whatever was at hand. My husband found a place, I think it was Boy Scout Headquarters in Philadelphia, where there was a low, wide rock wall that encircled the property.  Joshua would walk the entire wall while holding onto my husband's hand. 

I think Joshua defined determination. He wanted it, he went after it. My husband was there to watch over him, make sure that he learned the right (safe) way to do whatever he planned to try next ... but he always got to try.  To reach.

Teachers come from many places and lately, it seems as though the universe is trying to give me a message. Wanting isn't enough. Trying haphazardly won't do it. Make a plan. Stick to it. Determination. Discipline.  So, even though I've already done EDM #1, here it is again. My ears are open and I'm trying to hear the message, universe. Keep talking!

Done at last

A lot of people refuse to do things because they don't want to go naked, don't want to go without guarantee. But that's what's got to happen. You go naked until you die. (Nikki Giovanni)

Here's my first ever piece of art -- done at last. Had a small crisis when the cat walked across it but I got the paw prints off.

Good for the cat and family harmony since, being more of a dog person, I was ready to hand Sydney the Cat her food bowl and point her toward the door. That led to a long discussion where I pointed out that there wasn't much point in having a workspace (haven't quite reached the point where I can call it a studio yet) if I can't leave my work in it. They saw the point and we negotiated a settlement. The door stays closed and everyone makes sure that the cat doesn't go in there anymore.

Anyway, she's done at last (I'm so proud). My daughter wants me to do a variation with a dragon (she loves dragons). I'd like to do another female. We'll see. Next up are some more EDM challenges.

Bare Footin'

"If you are irritated by every rub,
how will you be polished?"
~~ Rumi Mevlana

Being a student means succeeding sometimes and failing at other times. When I started this blog, I decided to be honest. To show the successes and the failures. There's no intention here to misrepresent. I say this because I don't consider this a success.

Its pencil sketch using my own feet for the model. Could barely move by the time I was finished. I just don't know how models do it. I really don't.

My First Modeling Stint

"Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside us."
~~ Anonymous

Pen and pencil sketch of ... you guessed it ... my right hand. Discovered enormous respect for professional models while doing this exercise ... because I am here to tell you it is very tiring holding your hand up for a long time.

Good thing I had a manicure first!

Taking the Challenge

"An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one."
~Charles Horton Cooley

Downfall of being self-taught. Classrooms keep you honest. Being at home means getting distracted. That ever happen? Want to draw and all of a sudden you have this overwhelming urge to alphabetize your spice rack or some such?

Enter the Every Day Matter Challenges -- EDM #1 was to draw a shoe. I chose my daughter's baby shoe since it was her birthday. She was amazed I kept it but delighted that there were little lions on the side (she loves animals). Blasted shoe took two days and half an eraser to draw but I think its decidedly shoe-like.

From Exercises to Art

"An artist's career always begins tomorrow. "
~James McNeill Whistler

Deciding to study art is a huge leap. No question. Deciding to take the even bigger leap from an endless series of art exercises to trying to extract an image from my head? That's big beyond my ability to express.

This, then, is the first. The idea evolved out of a quote I read in one of my art books -- once you've drawn a thousand circles, you'll know how to draw a circle. Its a work in progress, by no means the final.

And its mine. Actually mine.